It’s almost 2016, and like everyone else on the planet, I am excited to “start” my life anew. Bought myself a new journal, a new calendar and I’m planning to get myself a new look (a more natural one, that is 😉 ) I’m planning to color my hair black (which is my original hair color) as a next-level exercise to project Self-Love! 🙂 (also, my hair grows so faaaast that maintaining my light brown hair is starting to be a pain in the a** (what with my black roots revolting every 2 months.)
But on a more serious note, I resolve to get to know myself even better for the year 2016. The past months made me realize that there is so much that is left to be discovered about myself. I am not yet as strong as I want myself to be and I am not yet as comfortable in my own skin as I thought I already am. I am not saying this out of self-pity. On the contrary, I am saying this with pride because I am speaking with complete self-awareness of what I am, what I am not, what I am not yet, and what I know I should strive to be.
An unlikely friend once told me that the first step to greatness is to be self-aware of one’s strengths and weaknesses, because only then do you get to see the things that need improvement and the problems that must be addressed. While ignorance is bliss, self-awareness is what gets us to the top – often requiring sacrifice, a big-time swallowing of pride, and patience to keep on going back to square one until we get the job right.
Haha. You might be quite confused now as to where this is all coming from. Let me give you a quick context then:
As far as self-discovery is concerned, December was the most insane but insightful month of my 2015. It was the month I bought a new phone (and a new laptop), thus starting my legit online life. I discovered Tinder, among other dating apps and I went on dates with people living very interesting lives. Like for reals, i realized that men are soooooo different from each other. haha. My friend told me I should start a blog narrating my dating stories. I guess that’s how funny, crazy and insightful all at the same time my experiences were. In the end though, nobody was a right candidate for a possible serious relationship… which has left me really frustrated. and exhausted.
Amidst all the cray-cray and the many failed attempts to find a potential boyfriend, i guess the most important thing is that I learned so much about myself. I learned that there are still a lot of things that I need to be firm on, that there is still so much self-loving to be done, and that I took a sudden plunge into the dating world when I am not yet ready for it actually.
So now I am making things right. I am still on these dating apps but I’ve become more picky with the men I swipe right. I’ve become more cautious as to who I should entertain so as not to waste any more of my time. And I’ve been reading books to gain more perspective about women and men in love, dating and relationships. I just recently finished the book WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES, and it was really an interesting read. Learned a lot from it, but most of the things stated there were the same pieces of advice my girlfriends have already given me but which I refused to hear time and time again.
So yes, December opened up my eyes. And it also made me appreciate my friends even more. My 2016 new year’s resolution is not a list if you notice. Rather it is one important goal that seeks to address the remaining weaknesses I discovered about myself lately. 🙂
Hmmm. Let me just end this post with this statement: After all that have happened in 2015, I can confidently say that my 2016 will be started by a wiser, stronger and more empowered version of myself. 🙂
Good night y’all! 🙂