“There’s a trick to a graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over – and then to let go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its value.” – Ellen Goodman
I’ve always had trouble letting go gracefully. This is because when I love, I love hard. I give it my all before I decide to retreat. I exhaust everything that I have until there is no more I could give, and this usually makes letting go so much harder because it feels like I’ve given up so much of myself for a love that was, after all, not meant to be…
Sabrina-cut beige top handed down by Tita Baby, loose brown pants from Landmark, brown bag gifted by Tita Lorna
I realized the past two weeks that this is a wrong and unwise way of loving. Heck, it is not what love is supposed to be. By doing too much, we open up ourselves to unnecessary hurt. But love should not make us suffer. Love shouldn’t feel contrived. It shouldn’t feel forced. It shouldn’t require too much energy. In the end, I realized that love is only true when it comes naturally to both parties, at the same right time.
Necklace and bracelet from Landmark, watch gifted by my mom.
This is the outfit I wore last Valentines Day – an outfit that made me trip 5 times while touring Intramuros, which he found too cute. lol. While my love story with the guy I was with last Valentines Day ended in a very magulo way shortly after, this nude number, I must say, will always remind me of that moment when February 14 finally felt so special. I’ve always longed for that year when Valentines Day would mean something to me. Never was I treated so well and dearly before but because of him, I got to experience being a princess on this day. He took very good care of me and made the day all about me – just the way I’ve always dreamed it should be. he has impressed the seven year old in me who was enamored by fairy tales and hopeless romantic movies.
While what we have did not last for very long, I know that there was a reason God sent me him. Maybe, aside from giving me the Valentines Day experience i’ve always longed for once and for all, it’s also so that I could cross out my Bucket List item number 3? 😛 haha
Someday, the love that I’m praying for will come. I know it will. Maybe, all the heartache and disappointment are just God’s way of preparing me for that big day. Maybe, He is teaching me to let go gracefully not for the benefit of others, but for the good of myself. He wants me to not self-destruct for love. He wants me to be sure of my love for myself before He gives me another person to take care of. Letting go is an act of kindness to ourselves. Doing it with ease means that we see how on our own we are enough.
“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.”
I understand now. and I promise to deal with it better and to love myself even more every single time.
That is all for today, have a wonderful Saturday! 🙂